The ongoing COVID-19 pandemic and the accompanying social distancing has given many of us much needed time to reflect on our lives and the world around us. Humanity is in a state of survival. We are thinking about our priorities in life and worrying about the people we love as we go through this one day at a time.
We are missing the freedom - freedom to do so many simple things which we have always taken for granted. Things like going out for a run, having coffee with a friend or getting ready every morning to go to work and even the dreaded daily commute to work. While we miss these simple things, our minds are in flux, obsessing over things such as ‘flattening the curve’ and trying to keep up with the daily new infections. The omnipresence of social media doesn’t help, keeping us switched-on and connected every second of the day, bombarding our minds with constant information, often times false and misleading. The anxiety begotten by this information and uncertainty makes us exhausted, leaving us searching for a few moments of calmness, it is these few moments that keep us sane.
Our minds crave certainty, our minds need answer, we need to know the ‘expiry date’ of this pandemic, and we need to know when the kids will go back to school. That is how we are wired, that is how we have evolved over millions of years and not getting the answers our minds crave leads to anxiety. We have heard that term a million times, but do we know what it really is and how we get on top of it? Anxiety is the fear of unknown which springs from uncertainty about outcomes. In an evolutionary context, our minds run away from threats and go towards rewards. The current situation is full of threats, and there aren’t many rewards out there for our minds to focus on.
What do we do about it? How do we fix things? I will share something that I teach in my anxiety management workshop and which helps me in building resilience. I think of it as living in the moment, living it with a realization that I will never experience this moment again in my life and trying to make the most of it. I crystalize this approach in the following steps,
1. Awareness: Start with observing yourself. Your thoughts and emotions and that too without any judgment. Be honest to yourself and accept whatever thoughts come to your mind
2. Emotional Labeling: Put a tag on your thoughts and emotions. For example if you have just read upsetting news about the virus and your anxiety levels are rising. Observe your thought, break the pattern and label the emotion. Say it out loud “I am feeling anxious about this and I am thinking about the future”
3. Gratitude: Break the pattern and come back in the present moment. Have a look around yourself. Notice the blessings you have in your life, your family, your house, a pantry full of food, and your pets – things that you are grateful for. A heart full of gratitude does not have any space for negative emotions.
This technique helps focus on the good things in your life and combined with other calming practices such as belly breathing and meditation can help improve our mental well-being while facing these periods of unprecedented challenges.
Another thing that helps me calm down and be more grateful in these turbulent times is to help people less fortunate in whatever way I can. This pandemic will leave deep scars on our collection consciousness that will take much longer to heal than it takes us to defeat the virus. We as a species have made massive progress against hunger and poverty. According to the World Bank 702.1 million people were living in extreme poverty in 2015, down from 1.75 billion in 1990. The pandemic and its accompanying economic effects can seriously rollback this progress. Who knows what the world will look like after a year? With global economies getting affected, we need to look after ourselves and those around us. My advice to my clients is to save more and donate to the needy around you. It is time that we forget our differences and help people around us irrespective of their cast, creed, religion, and race. Let this challenge bring us together because we are all in this together. Practice “presence”, slow down, listen more, love more, show kindness, eat well and be grateful!